Practices to Help You Become More Resilient

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Resilient people face life head-on. They don’t fall into despair or use unhealthy coping strategies to get through the hard times in their lives. They experience the same grief, stress, and anxiety as other people, but they have a way of letting the things they go through make them stronger instead of defeating them

We all have our fair share of resilience, if we didn’t we’d spend our lives at home in bed under the covers. That being said, I still think most of us could benefit from learning how to be more resilient. According to the Center on Developing Children at Harvard University, the capabilities that are needed for resilience can be strengthened at any age. So lucky for us, it’s never too late to develop more resiliency!

qualities of a person with well developed resiliency

  • Feel in control, which allows them to make changes and prosper in their life.
  • Have a survivor mentality: They believe they’re strong, and that they’ll make it through anything that comes their way.
  • Manage their emotions when in a stressful situation.
  • Look at problems rationally and come up with solutions.
  • Realize that adversity and negative emotions won’t last forever, so when bad things happen they are more optimistic.
  • Give themselves self-compassion and acceptance.
  • Have a mental reservoir of strength to draw on in hard times.
  • Have healthy coping habits. They don’t try to escape their problems.

I don’t know about you, but it would be helpful to me to develop more of the above qualities. So what can we do to become more resilient?

practices to Help You become more resilient:

Learn to Reframe Negative Thoughts

One way to do this is to focus on a small thing that you can take action on. Even if a situation is really bad, you can still find things within your control to improve.

Also, try to look at challenges or problems in your life in a positive light. Tell yourself that the problems are here to make you stronger and to help you learn new ways of doing things.

Change your self-talk

Your inner voice can make experiences better or worse. If it’s positive, you feel less stressed and things work out easier. If your self-talk tends to be negative, things seem more difficult and you feel more stressed.

How do we change our inner dialogue from negative to positive?

Write down whenever you catch yourself thinking negatively.

Try thought stopping – when you notice a negative thought, stop it mid-stream and say to yourself “stop.” Saying it aloud is even better because you’ll notice your thoughts more.

Do the rubber band snap – Put a rubber band around your wrist. When you notice negative self-talk pull the band back and let it snap on your wrist. The sting of the rubber band will make you more aware of your negative thoughts and help in stopping them.

Replace negative thoughts with milder or more positive ones. Ex: Negative thought:” I can’t believe I did that. I’m so stupid.” Milder version: “I made a mistake. I don’t have to be perfect and I will learn from my mistake.”

Build resiliency on a daily basis

You are what you repeatedly do. Resiliency is built through decisions and actions that you make and do daily. Small challenges dealt with and overcome in a healthy way are excellent practice for when larger adversity comes your way. You will have developed the tools and thought processes needed to handle even the most difficult situations. Remember, how you handle the minor moments is how you will handle the big moments.

Find your purpose

One of my favorite books is Victor Frankel’s “Man’s Search For Meaning.” This amazing quote is from it, “everything can be taken from a man, but one thing: the last of his human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances. To choose one’s way.” Research has shown that people with a stronger sense of purpose have more resilience, are more at peace and they also have better brain function. Having a purpose in life protects the brain against the negative side effects of stress. For help in finding your purpose, you can read my blog Find Your True Purpose Now.

Stay in the moment

Focus on the present moment. Most of our inner turmoil comes from thinking about the past or projecting what is to come in the future. The only time that actually exists is this moment right now. So be in it, do the next best thing in this moment and you will find a peace you didn’t know existed. For help in practicing mindfulness, you can read my blog Mindfulness Meditation – Begin Today To Change Your Life.

I think that resiliency is one of the most important tools we have in this life to get through it in a whole and healthy way. I hope that this blog helps you to become more resilient. Remember, “it’s your reaction to adversity, not adversity itself that determines how you life’s story will develop.” Dieter F. Uchtdord.

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