An Introvert's View

Need an Escape? Here’s 3 great series to watch

Audra McDonie / Entertainment / Leave a Comment

We’ve all had those days when the only thing we want to do is curl up on the couch with a blanket and do nothing but watch TV. Recently, our options for what to watch at home have drastically increased.

This is a wonderful thing, but it can also be daunting trying to figure out what to watch. I’m sharing a few of my favorite television shows to help narrow down your search. These series are perfect for escaping your life for a little while and I hope that you enjoy them!

Gilmore girls

This is my all time favorite television show. It is on Netflix and has seven seasons. It is about thirty-something single mother Lorelai Gilmore and her teen daughter Rory. They live in picturesque Stars Hollow, Connecticut. It is a lovely small town where people truly care about each other.

Lorelai, played by Lauren Graham is an intelligent and witty character, and it is amazingly fun to try to keep up with her never ending banter. Throw in a dreamy coffee shop owner, a couple of overbearing rich parents and the drama never stops.

I can’t think of a better place to escape to then the world of the Gilmore Girls and Stars Hollow. Gilmore Girls is my happy place and I hope that it brings you some happiness too!

Nashville

Nashville is a perfect drama about love, music and Nashville. What could be better? I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed this show. It has six seasons and you can watch it on Hulu. The real star of this show is Connie Britton. She is amazing as famous country singer Rayna James and her presence holds the whole series together.

The show also stars Hayden Panettiere and Charles Esten. It follows their lives as musicians in Nashville. The show is full of romance, drama and a lot of music. The country music performers are also extremely good.

It is an engrossing show that will keep you watching each episode from beginning to end, and then pushing the remote to watch the next one!

Hart of Dixie

Hart of Dixie is a light romantic comedy television series. It has four seasons and you can watch in on Amazon. Rachel Bilson plays Zoe Hart a New York doctor who receives an offer to work in a practice in Blue Bell, Alabama. When she arrives, she finds that the doctor who offered her the job has died, but has left her his half of the practice.

It is a fish out of water story about a New York girl trying to make a new life in the South. Blue Bell is another perfect little town in which to lose yourself. It’s full of handsome men and eclectic townspeople. Hart of Dixie is a great series in which to escape for a few hours!

So these are my favorite television shows to watch when you want to get away from your life for awhile. They have definitely given me many hours of enjoyment and I hope that they do the same for you!

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learn easy visualization techniques to make your dreams come true

Audra McDonie / Self-Help / 1 Comment

“Everything you can imagine is real.”
Pablo Picasso

We all have dreams that haven’t come true yet. There are goals yet to be achieved, and experiences that we would like to have, but as of yet have not shown up in our lives. This could be because many of us (me included) are very good at visualizing the life that we don’t want. We spend a lot of time imagining worse case scenarios and worry about what could happen in the future. Visualization is an amazingly powerful tool that will bring all of the positive outcomes that we want to fruition.

Visualization is a tool that athletes use that helps them to excel in their chosen sport. Many Olympic athletes have used it to carry away a gold medal. There has been a lot of research done on visualization. One finding showed that imagining a task before doing it, drastically improves performance when the task is actually done.

According to JackCanfield.com, visualization techniques have four very important benefits:

Activates your creative subconscious.
Programs your brain so it can recognize the resources you need to achieve your dreams.
It activates the law of attraction, which draws into your life the people, resources and circumstances that you need.
Builds internal motivation, so you can go after your dreams.

The best times to practice visualization is when you first wake up, after meditation or prayer and right before bed.

Steps to Visualization

Step #1: The most important part of visualization is to know what you want. We all have a mish-mash of dreams, aspirations, goals and experiences that we want running around in our heads. We need to organize our thoughts concerning what we actually want to bring into our lives. What brings us joy and peace? Another good question to ask yourself is if I had nothing holding me back, what would I want to see in my life? or If a genie showed up and could make anything happen in my life, what would my life look like?

Step #2: This is where you write down and describe what you want in detail. You need to have a clear vision.

Step #3: Start visualizing and create the emotions. Start envisioning that you have the life you just wrote about. See it, what do you hear? What do you smell? What does it feel like? Imagine you are walking through this new life as if it were actually real. Get excited and feel all the wonderful emotions that come with having the life you always dreamed of.

Step #4: Take daily Actions. Each day think about one thing that you could do that would help you to get closer to the life that you want.

Step #5: Persevere. In life we will always be faced with challenges that we have to overcome. Visualize yourself overcoming all obstacles that get in your way.

create goal pictures

Create a photo or visual representation of you with your goal, as if it were already completed. For example if you want to go to Egypt and see the Pyramids, then take a picture of you and put it in next to a picture of the pyramids. If you want to own a house, put a picture of you next to the house you want. You get the idea. The goal picture gives your mind something concrete to hold onto and is beneficial to the process.

visualization index cards

Write each goal/dream/experience/material thing that you would like to see in your life and write it on an index card. Keep them on your bedside table and each morning and night go through the cards one at a time. Read a card, close your eyes and see the goal completed perfectly for about 15 seconds. Open your eyes and then repeat the process with the next card. You can also incorporate your affirmations with the visualization cards. If you would like you can read my blog on affirmations here: Try Affirmations for Health, Wealth and Happiness.

I hope that these visualization techniques will help you on your road to living the life of your dreams. Remember we all deserve to live our absolute best life, and it never hurts to see if something new might be just what we need to achieve it. Take care of yourself and know that you deserve all that is good!

expressive writing is a powerful tool for inner peace

Audra McDonie / Health & Wellness / Leave a Comment

“There is something so powerful about getting your
thoughts
down on paper.
Write it all down and
watch the stress fade away.”

-Ashley Rachel

I have tried many times throughout my life, but I have never been able to keep a journal. I came across a technique called expressive writing, while doing research for a new blog. Expressive writing is a form of therapeutic journaling. You write about topics that are emotionally important to you, and it is a powerful tool for self-help.

James Pennebaker, a psychology professor at the University of Texas at Austin is the creator of expressive writing. He did hundreds of studies over several decades about it. As a psychologist, he knew that ignoring unpleasant emotions causes stress, affects our mood negatively and distorts our thinking. Expressive writing allows us to get in touch with what is bothering us, while also giving us a way to express and process the emotions concerning it.

Benefits of Expressive Writing

Lowers symptoms of depression and PTSD.
Gives mental clarity.
Improves sleep.
Lowers number of stress related illnesses.
Improves lung and liver function.
Reduces blood pressure.
Boosts immune system.
Improves sports performance.

Unfortunately, the more we avoid problems, the more trouble they cause us. When we don’t deal with our negative feelings, we create a loop of unresolved apprehension about the emotions involved. Expressive writing helps us to figure out what is bothering us. While also allowing us to organize our thoughts into language, which creates a narrative that gives us more control over our mental and emotional states. It is a powerful coping tool for many people.

Why do we have to write? Why can’t we just talk about your feelings with someone else? Thinking or talking can lead to ruminating, where we can become lost in our emotions. Writing forces us to slow down, and labeling a feeling or putting words to an emotion calms down the neural activity in the threat area of the brain.

expressive writing exercise

For the next four days for 15-20 minutes each day, write your very deepest thoughts and feelings concerning something traumatic that happened to you, or an important emotional issue that has or is affecting you and your life. You can also write about relationships with others, including parents, lovers, friends or relatives in your past and present. You can write about who you have been, who you would like to be and who you are now. Write about the same issues and experiences on all days of writing, or you can write on different topics each day.

A FEW RULES: Once you start you can’t stop. If you don’t know what to write, repeat what you just wrote, or draw a line. Don’t censure yourself, this writing is confidential, nobody else will be reading it. Also, don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, grammar or sentence structure. Let your thoughts come out just the way they are without filtering them. You may notice after a writing session that you feel sad or heavy, this is okay, it won’t last and then you’ll feel better.

I haven’t done my writing exercise yet, but I am going to start it tomorrow. Writing in this way makes a lot of sense to me. It’s great to talk to someone about what is bothering us, but there are times when talking only makes me feel more confused. I can see how writing down how I feel in black and white would help me sort things out better. It is a slower process and it allows for more reflection. I hope that you give expressive writing a try too, and that it helps you to become a happier more content you!

Try affirmations for health, wealth and happiness

Audra McDonie / Health & Wellness / 2 Comments

“Don’t be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart.”
Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

I have never used affirmations, but I have always been a proponent of positive thinking. One of my favorite books is The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale. I believe that positivity can help us make drastic improvements in our lives. This change in perspective from negative to positive doesn’t cost a thing, only the time it takes to give it a sincere try. Affirmations are one of the tools that we can use to help us on our journey to a more positive outlook and a better life.

Unfortunately, people have a tendency to be more negative than positive. We all know that life can be difficult, and each of us has been treated poorly or been let down at times in our lives. These experiences from our past can fuel the negative self talk in our heads. In addition, human survival has been based on us being instinctively pessimistic to avoid danger. Because of this proclivity for negativity, it is necessary for us to find ways to counterbalance it, so we can live happy and healthy lives.

Did you know that our brains can’t differentiate between what is real and what is fantasy? When we are watching a dramatic movie and we tear up, it is because we empathize with the characters. Our brain doesn’t know that what we are watching is movie magic. We behave as if we were empathizing with someone in our real life. That’s why it’s important to be careful what you say about yourself and about the world in general. Your mind will believe it.

When we think negatively, it affects the way we feel, our self-esteem and the way we look at the world. Negative thoughts can become self-fulfilling prophecies. We can convince ourselves that we’re not worthy and that we don’t deserve good things. These thoughts can be very detrimental to our personal lives, our relationships and our careers. So, it is in our best interest to speak words that will help us to become the best version of ourselves.

So how do we get out of our negative rut? This blog will discuss ways in which affirmations can help, and how you can easily incorporate them into your daily life. I hope that you uncover something that helps you have a life filled with more joy.

how Do affirmations help us

Strengthen our minds and help us to believe in ourselves and our dreams.
Have the ability to rewire our brains so we can think more positively naturally.
Increase the feel good hormones in our brain.
Help us overcome negative self-sabotaging thoughts.
Studies have shown that they are very beneficial for people with low self esteem, depression and other mental health conditions.
Build a stronger sense of self worth.
Empower us.

How and when should i say my affirmations?

Saying affirmations three times a day seems to deliver the best results. Saying them in the morning (upon awakening), midday, and at night before bedtime. Also using them to combat negative thoughts that come into your head throughout the day is also helpful. Say each affirmation ten times out loud with conviction and feeling. The more emotion, the better. Many people like to look in the mirror when they say them. It is even more powerful when you tap the top of your hand each time you say an affirmation. We spent a lot of time training our brains to think about fears, anxieties and to think bad about ourselves, so it is completely possible to train our brains to think positively. According to Spirituallifemedia.com, “affirmations have the power to change your thinking, which changes you and your life.

“Change your thoughts and change your world.”
Norman Vincent Peale

what affirmations should i use?

Remember we’re trying to turn negatives into positives. If you struggle with negative self talk, write down the thoughts that are giving you trouble. Then write an affirmation that is the opposite of that thought. Affirmations are positive statements that are written in the present tense. They should be written as if they are already happening. Example: “I am a talented writer who helps people with her writing .” Another example: I am healthy in mind and body. At first it may feel like you are lying to yourself, but because of the way our brains work, it needs to hear the affirmation in the present tense. The information needs to be processed as fact, so that it will become reality. You can write affirmations of your own, find them on the internet, or you can take the affirmations you like from ones that I have listed below. It really doesn’t matter as long as they resonate with you, and will help you bring about the changes you want to see in yourself and your life.

aFFIRMATIONS:

(Many of these affirmations were written by Dr. Carmen Harra, world renowned intuitive psychologist) The others were found on Pinterest.

I am the builder of my own life and I choose its contents.
I have been given amazing talent, which I begin to use today.
I forgive those who have hurt me in my past and I peacefully detach from them.
My body is healthy, my mind is brilliant and my soul is tranquil.
Today, I am brimming with energy and overflowing with joy
I am guided in my every step by a spirit who leads me towards what I must know and do.
(If you’re married) My marriage is becoming stronger, deeper and more stable each day.
I possess the qualities to be extremely successful.
Creative energy surges through me and leads me to new and brilliant ideas.
My ability to conquer my challenges is limitless; my potential to succeed is infinite.
My thoughts are filled with positivity and my life is filled with success.
I acknowledge my own self worth, my confidence is soaring.
Everything that is happening now, is happening for my ultimate good.
I am a powerhouse, I am indestructible.
Though these times are difficult, they are only a short phase of my life.
(for those who are single) The perfect partner for me is coming into my life sooner than I expect.
My efforts are being supported by the universe, my dreams manifest into reality before my eyes.
I radiate beauty, charm and grace.
(if suffering from mental or physical illness) I am conquering my illness. I am defeating it steadily each day.
My obstacles are moving out of my way, my path is carved towards greatness.
I wake up today with strength in my heart and clarity in my mind.
I am at peace with all that has happened, is happening and will happen.
My nature is divine. I am a spiritual being.
My future is an ideal projection of what I envision now.
I create a safe and secure space for myself wherever I am.
I give myself permission to do what is right for me.
I allow myself to be who I am without judgement
I listen to my intuition and trust my inner guide
I add value to the world.
I deserve the best.
I am worthy of love.
I am powerful.
I am confident.
I am enough.
I am strong.
I am creating the life I want.
I love being me.
I get better every day.
I am unique.
I am intelligent.
I trust myself.
I am special.
I believe in myself.
I am thankful.
I am brave.

Affirmations are a very powerful tool for self help. I hope that this blog has helped you see how beneficial they can be to you, and that you will think about incorporating them into your daily routine. You are amazing and you deserve wonderful things!

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8 Life lessons you can learn from Your cat

Audra McDonie / Self-Help / Leave a Comment

I am writing this blog in memory of my cat Pumpkin, who passed away last week. It was a hard week, but I gain solace from knowing that Pumpkin was seventeen and had a great life. He was also an amazing soul who lived life to the fullest. Ellie and Olive are our other cats and they are also beautiful little beings. I have learned a lot about living from watching my cats. Sometimes nature is our best teacher.

“I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior”
Hippolyte Taine

8 life lessons you can learn from your cat

Live one moment at a time. Cats know how to live in the moment. They are not worrying about tomorrow or even what they will be doing in the next five minutes. They are blissfully mindful and in the present.

2. Know instinctively that things will work out. Kitties have a faith that they will be taken care of and they don’t worry or have anxiety about living. They just live and expect the best!

3. Practice the art of doing nothing. Cats can sit and stare out the window or into space for hours and be completely content. With absolutely no guilt for not being productive.

4. Love unconditionally. They always seem to know when you’re not feeling good and are there to support and give you love.

5. Live curiously and with perception. These furry guys want to know what is going on at all times. They love to watch their humans do things and are always observant and aware of their surroundings.

6. Live life independently. Cats may live with us, but they are living their own lives. They don’t look for validation from us because they are confident in themselves.

7. Don’t fall victim to boredom. You never see a cat looking bored. They always seem very content. Whether napping, playing or staring off into space they are perfectly happy.

8. Know how to play. Cats are known for their playfulness. They are always batting at something or looking for their next adventure.

Cats are wise and spiritual creatures and I hope I was able to enlighten you on some of the ways they can teach us to live a happy and more content life. Live long and paws-prer!

3 great books I read over the summer

Audra McDonie / Entertainment / Leave a Comment

“A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one.
-George R. R. Martin

I spent a lot of time reading over the summer. My favorite part of reading is that it takes me to another place, and allows me to live someone else’s life for awhile. Reading has been a wonderful coping mechanism for me the last couple of years. It is a safe place to land when everything seems to be going wonky around me. I enjoyed all three of these books and I hope this blog helps when you are on the hunt for your next book.

The Paper Palace a novel by Miranda Cowley heller

The Paper Palace by first time novelist Miranda Cowley Heller is much darker than it’s pastel colored cover lets on. The book jacket synopsis seemed to promise a light love story, but this book is anything but light. Elle the protagonist is a 53 year old happily married mother of three. Her dilemma is choosing between her husband and her first love, who also happens to be her best friend. The whole story happens in one day, but Heller uses flashbacks from the past to weave an intriguing and engaging story that is hard to put down.

Miranda Cowley Heller is a talented writer. She has written a beautiful story, and she is adept at creating unique, idiosyncratic characters that could be people you know in real life.

I took this book on my vacation over the summer. I thought it was a light romance, but it is actually a heart felt and soul wrenching piece of literary fiction. It was not what I was expecting, but I enjoyed it immensely and I highly recommend it.

Nine Perfect Strangers by Liane Moriarty

Nine Perfect Strangers by Australian writer Liane Moriarty is definitely a page turner. It was made into a television series for Hulu and it just started streaming. I haven’t watched the series yet, but it is on my list. This is a character driven story, but it also has elements of a mystery. It puts nine strangers together at a high end “spa retreat” for ten days.

It takes a deep dive into each character’s back story, and the reasons they have ended up at the retreat. Overall, I liked this book, but it was slow moving in places and the character’s were not as interesting as I would have liked. It does pick up and get suspenseful toward the end. I recommend it, but of the three books, it was my least favorite.

Writers & Lovers by Lily King

Writers & Lovers by Lily King is an amazing book and my favorite of the three. I had never read a book by Lily King before, and I found this one by taking the recommendation of an employee at Barnes & Noble. Lily King has written a lot of books and I am looking forward to reading each and every one. She is one of the best writers I have read in awhile. Writer’s & Lovers is also a character driven story. (If you haven’t figured it out yet, character driven books are my favorite.)

Casey Peabody, our protagonist, is a struggling writer. She is in her late twenties, living in Boston and waiting tables. She has not given up on her dream of being a successful writer as most of her contemporaries have. It is the story of an artist living her dream and all the struggles that accompany not taking the safe route in life.

The book is set in the neighborhood in Boston where I went to college, so it was a bit of a walk down memory lane for me. Lily King’s writing is sublime. I have read several sentences from the book out loud to my son (who is also a writer) because I am astounded at the innate beauty of her writing. If you can’t tell already, I highly recommend this book.

I think reading books is one of the best parts of life and I hope that this blog has helped you find at least one book that you can add to your reading list. Happy reading!!

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