Self-Help

9 Simple Ways to Improve your Self Esteem

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Self esteem is an individual’s evaluation of their own worth. It is what you believe to be true about yourself. I’m not sure why, but we tend to be our own harshest critics. Low self esteem can negatively affect every part of your life including your relationships, your job and even your health. So it’s probably not a stretch to say, that seeing your worth and loving yourself can definitely change your life for the better. So let’s do it!

How to Improve Self Esteem

Are your thoughts True? Are the thoughts and views you are having about yourself consistent with facts and logic? It is difficult to see mistakes in your thinking because many of these thoughts are ones that you have long held and they can feel normal and factual even though they are just opinions or perceptions. Write down these self defeating thoughts and challenge them. Make yourself come up with definitive facts and reasons for the bad things you are thinking about yourself. You will be very surprised to find that you won’t be able to come up with facts for what you are thinking, and you will see there is no reason to be beating yourself up!

List Your Accomplishments: Write down everything that you’ve done in your life that you feel proud of and everything that you feel you have done well. These are facts about yourself that you can read when you need a boost of self confidence!

Create Personal Boundaries: What are your personal boundaries? Many people allow other people to treat them poorly. It is hard to feel good about yourself if you are allowing friends, family or co-workers to take advantage of or disrespect you. The first step is to define for yourself what someone crossing the line looks like to you. Then when someone crosses it, you need to know how you will respond to them. This will give you a clear idea of what you will put up with and what you won’t, then when that personal boundary is crossed you will be aware and know how to handle it. Standing up for yourself shows you have self respect and that you are your own best advocate. It will also without a doubt help you to feel better about yourself!

Exercise: I cannot say enough about exercise as a way to boost your self esteem. It’s benefits are two fold. First, when you exercise and get your blood pumping, your overall mental state will improve. Cardiovascular exercise increases endorphins, dopamine and adrenaline. These are all brain chemicals associated with feeling happy, confident and capable. They also help you feel less anxiety, stress and less physical pain. Secondly, exercise makes your body look better, thus making you feel better about yourself. Exercise gives you a lot of bang for your buck in improving the way you feel and see yourself!

Do Things That Make You Happy: We are so busy these days. We run blindly from one commitment and chore to another. It is easy to go weeks and even months without doing anything that you find fun and relaxing. Schedule a little time every day to do something that you enjoy and let it be something that is just for you. This is a great way to get to know yourself and to find out what makes you happy. It will make you a more content person and thus will make you feel better about yourself and your life.

Celebrate The Small Things You Do Well: This is very simple. At the end of each day, write down 3 things that you did well. It doesn’t have to be anything earth shattering. It could just be the cool outfit you put together for yourself, or crossing 3 things off your to do list, or the delicious chicken parmesan you made for dinner. It is just a way for you to acknowledge the good stuff you do every day, but usually just ignore. Give your self props every day, you deserve it!

Become Mindful Of Your Self Talk: Negative self talk is not good. You need to become aware of it and by doing that you can work on not believing it and then add some positive self talk to balance it out. Meditation teacher Allan Lokos says, “don’t believe everything you think, thoughts are just that, thoughts.” My father told me something when I was a teenager that changed my life. He told me my mind was just a huge computer, full of information – information goes in and thoughts are made, but my mind is just a tool, it is not my master. If you look at your thoughts as just random manufactured things made up by a computer, you probably wouldn’t take everything you thought so seriously. Use your mind as a tool, be discriminating about your thoughts and you be the master of it. This will change your life and the way you feel about yourself!

Don’t Compare Yourself To Others: I know when you look around on social media or in your own neighborhood it seems like everyone has the perfect life with no concerns or worries. Believe me when I tell you that this is a false narrative and one that will only lead to you being unhappy. Everyone has their own set of obstacles and challenges. Nobody in this thing called life gets away without things to overcome. That is what life is all about, without these, we would not enjoy when things are going great. Remember nobody has a charmed life except in the fantasy worlds of Instagram and Facebook!

Being of Service To Others: Volunteering or lending someone a helping hand takes you out of your own head. If you are busy helping someone who is less fortunate then you, it gives you a different perspective and it keeps you from thinking too much about yourself. Also when you help others it makes you feel proud of and respect yourself, which makes it easier to recognize your own worth!

I hope that this blog has given you some tools to use to help you to feel better about yourself and puts you further along the path to loving yourself. Remember you are an amazing, unique and wonderful human being who deserves all the best this life has to offer!

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Something to do daily for your spirit

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“There is an indian proverb that says, everyone is a house with four rooms, a physical, a mental, an emotional and a spiritual. Most of us tend to live in one room most of the time, but unless we go into every room every day, even if only to keep it aired, we are not a complete person.”

We are complex beings with many facets, and each one requires our attention:

  • We are physical beings who need to exercise and eat well.
  • Our brains need to be challenged and worked in order for us to remain mentally sharp.
  • We need to be in touch with our emotions and deal with them in an appropriate way.
  • We also need to have a spiritual aspect to our daily life as well.

These four facets are all a part of us and one is not more important than the other. Unfortunately, many people never venture outside their physical and mental rooms. I think if people realized how important the emotional and spiritual parts of themselves were, we would live in a completely different world.

Every day I try to do something for myself in each area mental, physical, emotional and spiritual. Please know, that I am still working on doing these things every single day. Some days I don’t have the time or the will to do anything but just get through the day. But, most days I am able to do at least a small thing in each area, and it has made all the difference in my life.

In this blog, I would like to share what I do for my spiritual needs on a daily basis. It’s very simple. I have found that the simpler you keep your routines in each area, the more apt you are to make them a part of your routine.

There are 3 Things I do for my Spiritual Needs on a Daily Basis:

  • Read Spiritual/positive books that mean something to me
  • Pray
  • Meditate

Read Spiritual Books

I love spiritual books that have daily meditations for each day throughout the year. Two books that I have been reading most of my life are Around the Year with Emmet Fox (please check out the link below for my blog on Emmet Fox) and God Calling. Every day, I read the daily meditation for the day in each book and then I also have some favorite excerpts from other things that I read. I am not religious. I believe in God. I believe that he loves me and that he is taking care of me. I don’t complicate it. I’ve found that the best and most true things in life are simple and straightforward. Reading my books every morning reminds me of God, which makes me feel more positive, happy and not so alone. Find something spiritual and or positive to read on a daily basis that resonates with you. It really doesn’t matter as long as it makes you feel good.

Pray

I pray every day. I also try to make my prayers as simple as possible. This is personal for everyone, but I think the most important thing is that you are making contact with God/your higher power/the universe every day.

Meditation is the newest tool in my spiritual tool box. I have only been meditating on and off for about two years. Again, I try to make my meditation experience easy and uncomplicated. I set a timer for 10 -12 minutes, I listen to a relaxing meditation sound (babbling brook is my favorite) on my phone and then I sit with my legs crossed in a comfortable place somewhere I won’t be disturbed. I breathe in and out naturally and concentrate on my breathing. If I find my mind wandering to something else, I bring it back to concentrating on my breathing. That’s it – when my timer goes off – my meditation is done. There are many different ways to meditate – it’s just finding the one works the best for you.

Meditate

I hope this blog helps you and remember:

“The only impossible journey is the one you never begin.”

Tony Robbins

Below are my most recent blogs. Notes on my Spiritual journey is the blog about Emmet Fox.

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Finding the way to your true self

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“Many women today feel a sadness we cannot name. Though we accomplish much of what we set out to do, we sense that something is missing in our lives and – fruitlessly – search “out there” for the answers. What’s often wrong is that we are disconnected from an authentic sense of self”

-Dr. Emily Hancock, American psychologist and author

Becoming your authentic self. It sounds like an amazing concept, but what does it actually mean? Authentic by definition means not false or copied, but genuine and real. Unfortunately, finding anything or anyone that is genuine, real or original is a challenge these days. The world seems to be filled with mostly more of the same.

So going on this self discovery journey will mean breaking from the pack. A frightening proposition, because some people in your life may not be happy with this new authentic you. I have found that this is a small price to pay for the self love, acceptance and peace I have gained by journeying inward to find out who I really am.

One book that has helped me a lot in my journey is “Simple Abundance” by Sarah Ban Breathnach. It offers daily inspiration and practical advice for women to help them discover what makes them truly happy.

One of my favorite passages from her book is called Once Upon A Time You Trusted Yourself. In it, she says to find a photograph of when you were ten years old. She recommends putting it in a pretty frame and putting it on your desk where you can see it often. She says that when you were ten you trusted yourself and your instincts. At this age, you weren’t influenced by other people as much, or concerned about what they thought about you. You knew exactly what clothes you liked to wear, you were confident in your abilities and in who you were. You also had no problem letting other people see the real you. Try to think back to when you were that age. What did your room look like? What friends did you have? How did you feel about yourself? Did you trust yourself? What did you like to eat? What were your dreams? Try to get in touch with this beautiful ten year old being, because she is your authentic self. This is a great place to begin your journey inward.

Another tool that has helped me with my self discovery “dig” is pinterest. I know a lot of people use pinterest as a storage place for their next decor project or for party ideas, and this is great, but pinterest is also an excellent tool to get to know yourself better.

Begin by starting a fashion board and pin outfits that you like, not ones that are trending or in style, but ones that feel like you.

Or how about a travel board where you pin all the places that make you feel butterflies in your stomach. (This is your authentic self speaking to you.)

Create a board called quotes and pin quotes that make you feel good, or ones that inspire and give you hope.

Start another board called Decor and pin home furnishings and accessories that you would put in a house in which you live alone, do not take anyone else’s opinion in to account. (you’ll be surprised how your choices change, when you think it will a place just for you)

In addition to the boards I mentioned, I also have boards for art, books, food, health & wellness, romance, relaxation and more.

Take some time and pin to these boards for awhile. Then, look back over everything that you’ve pinned and you will see what gives you joy in your life.

This is a subject I am passionate about and I will be sharing more on it in the future, but I hope this will give you a place to start your inner journey. Happy self-reflection and exploration – today is the beginning of a wonderful journey!

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