Introvert’s View

10 Things about extroverts that really annoy introverts

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It’s a fact that the world, especially the United States, is a lover of the extroverted person. This is true in the corporate, school and social worlds. Our school system is designed for the extroverted child and the majority of teachers believe that the most successful students are extroverts. Despite the fact that all these great thinkers were introverts: Darwin, Einstein, Orwell, Spielberg, Jobs!

I am a proud introvert and sometimes extroverts really get on my nerves. I thought it would be fun to share some of the things I find most annoying about extroverts. If you’re an introvert, I’m sure that you’ll relate. If you’re an extrovert, I hope that you don’t take offense, and that maybe it will help you to get a long better with your introvert friends.

#1. Constant Chattering

Extroverts love to fill the silence with endless talking. For some reason it isn’t okay to have breaks in a conversation. This is very draining to an introvert because we require quiet to recharge and incessant talking wears us out.

#2. Showing up at our home unannounced

Do not ever do this to an introvert! We hate having to interact with anyone socially without some prep time. Showing up unannounced at our place is one of the worst things you can do.

#3. Loud Talking

I’m not sure this is only annoying to introverts. I’m pretty sure most people in general are not fans of people who talk really loud.

#4. Constant Intense eye contact

Extroverts love eye contact. Some people take it way too far and never break it. This is very uncomfortable for an introvert and it definitely freaks us out.

#5. Monopolizing the conversation

Introverts are great listeners, but that doesn’t mean that we never want to talk. Just because you finally found someone that will listen to you, doesn’t mean you should monopolize the whole conversation. Remember a conversation is two people talking back and forth. A soliloquy is a conversation with yourself. Introverts prefer conversations!

#6. drama

Extroverts love to talk, so all that talking amongst themselves is sure to stir up some drama. Introverts intensely dislike drama. It is usually loud, messy and unpredictable, and we’re not fans of any of those things.

#7. Small Talk

There is nothing introverts hate more than small talk. What’s the point of it? I really don’t know. It always feels forced and uncomfortable. We prefer to have meaningful conversations about things that actually matter.

#8. No Space Awareness

This is not true of all extroverts, but many have the habit of invading our personal space. There is nothing worse for an introvert than someone getting too close. We like to have a good amount of personal space at all times. Energy is something that introverts are very aware of, and when someone is too close it affects us.

#9. Not letting us have time alone to recharge

Extroverts gain energy from being around people and introverts gain energy from being alone. This is why extroverts don’t understand why introverts need space to recharge. So don’t feel bad or give them a hard time when your introvert friend disappears for awhile!

#10. Believing we should suck it up and be more like an extrovert

This is the number one biggest pet peeve that I have with extroverts. They always think we should just get over being who we are naturally and become more social and outgoing like them. To that I say, why don’t you stop being so talkative and social and be more like me? This line of thinking makes no sense. We are who we are and nobody should be told they shouldn’t be that way.

So there they are… The top ten things I find annoying about extroverts. I hope that these hit home with you introverts out there and don’t worry extroverts, I really do like you – at least most of the time!

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Why you’re lucky to be an introvert

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Blessed are those who do not fear solitude, who are not afraid of their own company, who are not always desperately looking for something to do, something to amuse themselves, something to judge.

Paulo Coelho

Unfortunately, introverts have been done a huge disservice. Personality theorists historically portrayed introversion as an abnormal trait. They perpetuated a narrative that there was something wrong with a person who was introverted. Extroversion was touted as having all the positive attributes, including sociability and chattiness. This narrative definitely lives on in our world today. I have witnessed the negative connotations associated with introversion firsthand.

Introverts are one-third to one-half of our population and they include some of the worlds most gifted people.

Some Famous introverts:

Albert EinsteinJ.K. RowlingEmma Watson
Rosa ParksSteven SpielbergMeryl Streep
Elon MuskGandhiCharles Darwin
Michael JordanDr. SeussAudrey Hepburn

positive introvert personality traits:

  • Listen more than they talk.
  • Think before they speak.
  • Keenly observant.
  • Favor quality friendships and genuine interpersonal connectiveness over quantity of friendships.
  • Loving romantic partners, without being clingy or high maintenance.
  • Compassionate and inspiring leaders. They don’t step into the spotlight and take all the credit for group successes.
  • Highly selective of people. They don’t waste their time with just anyone.
  • Creative.
  • Lower threshold for small talk and superficialities.
  • Conserve energy for stimulating personal interactions, instead of ones that take their energy.
  • Ability to think outside the box.
  • Ability to overcome challenges in healthy ways.
  • Able to form genuine interpersonal connections.
  • Fiercely loyal.
  • Empathetic in nature.
  • Dreamers.
  • Intriguing and deep thinkers.
  • Problem Solvers
"There's zero correlation between being the best talker and having the best ideas."
Susan Cain - Author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking.
"Introverts...have more ways of protecting themselves and live longer. They appreciate a simpler life, plan and reflect on new ways of doing things and encourage others to develop self-reflection and to think before acting."
Carl Jung

I am an introvert myself and also the mother of two amazing introverts. It’s important to me that the negative narrative concerning introversion continue to change to a more positive one. Introvert’s and Extrovert’s both have amazing qualities, but many times introverts are made to feel like they are not as good or won’t be as successful as their extroverted counterparts. They are even asked or even pushed to be more extroverted by people who don’t understand introversion. This is ridiculous and I want all my fellow introverts to remember what a gift you are to the world and to know that you are perfect just the way you are!

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Are You an Introvert?

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If you are new to all this introvert stuff, but feel like you may be one of the tribe, this is the post for you. I didn’t know I was an introvert, until I was well into my adult years. I am quiet and have always enjoyed spending time by myself. For some reason a lot of people are uncomfortable with quiet people and they feel like they have to help them be more social. I spent much of my life thinking something was wrong with me. I felt like I had to constantly push myself to be someone different than my true self, so I could fit in and be successful.

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Are You an Introvert?Read More »

Are You an Introvert? Read More »