Audra McDonie

15 Unique things to do with your Adult kids

"Spending quality time with your children is always the right decision."
-Poppy Sparkles

Parents want to spend time with their children, creating lasting memories well into their child’s adulthood. I am always looking for fun things to do with my daughter Julia (20) and my son Dylan (22). You don’t have to limit yourself to doing these things only with your kids, feel free to do them with your significant other or a friend too!

I hope that you find something different to do that will help you make memories you can share with your loved ones forever.

15 Memory-Making Activities

  1. Paint rocks and then leave them out in public for a stranger to find. (My daughter and I did this and it was very fun!)
  2. Read aloud together. A book that you have both been wanting to read.
  3. Wake up early and watch the the sunrise together.
  4. Bring your favorite board game to a coffee shop.
  5. Plan and cook a meal together.
  6. Go to a karaoke or trivia night at a local restaurant.

7. Put a bunch of blankets and pillows on the grass in the backyard and stargaze.

8. Go see their favorite musician play in concert. (I went with my kids last month to a music festival that featured their favorite artists. It was a great weekend and we made a lot of wonderful memories!)

9. Do something that scares you together. A haunted house, roller coaster, ziplining, etc… ( I have gone to a haunted house with my kids the last two years. It was scary, but a lot of fun!)

10. Go camping.

11. Throw a spur of the moment party, just for fun.

12. Dress up and go to the symphony or opera.

13. Have a picnic together somewhere pretty.

14. Sign up for a course or workshop together.

15. On a rainy day, have a movie marathon.

As parents, we will never regret the time that we spend with our children. Spending quality time together with our children and other loved ones is difficult, because of the many distractions we have to contend with these days. I hope that these fun activities help you to make some wonderful memories with the people you love!

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5 healthy ways to deal with painful emotions

“Your emotions make you human. Even the unpleasant ones have a purpose. Don’t lock them away. If you ignore them, they just get louder and angrier.”

-Sabaa Tahir, A Torch Against the Night

Humans are emotional beings. We are taught from a young age how to take care of ourselves physically, but mental and emotional health is not something that most parents are versed in enough to teach their children.

I know that I am lacking when it comes to dealing with emotions, especially negative ones. Feeling emotional pain is hard and it hurts… a lot. Nobody wants to hurt or feel pain, so we ignore or dismiss our emotions, or we try to numb them with a myriad of different things. Alcohol, drugs, self harm, over-eating, not eating enough, to name a few of the unhealthy things human beings do, to not feel our feelings.

By engaging in these negative behaviors, we think that we’re making the pain less, but we are actually making it worse. We need to find healthy ways in which to deal with difficult and painful emotions.

6 healthy ways to deal with painful emotions

1. sit with your emotions

It’s okay to just sit with how you’re feeling and not try to get rid of the pain. It’s also helpful to tell yourself that it’s okay to feel how you’re feeling. You have a right to feel how ever you do. Validate your emotions, instead of talking yourself out of them. Accept and don’t fight what is going on inside of you.

2. belly breathing

  1. Put your hand on your stomach and inhale slowly.
  2. Imagine a balloon in your belly filling up and inhale until it’s very full.
  3. Put your hand on your heart and feel it for 5 seconds.
  4. Let your breath out slowly for 10 seconds, until your stomach feels flat.
  5. Repeat this 4 or 5 times.

3. Try the 90 Second Resilience Exercise

According to Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, Harvard brain scientist, “90 seconds is all it takes to identify an emotion and allow it to dissipate while simply noticing it. When you’re stressed, pausing 90 seconds and labeling what you are feeling tamps down activity in the amygdala, calms the brain and helps you regain control.”

According to her studies, when a person reacts to something in their environment there’s a 90 second chemical process that happens in the body, after that, any emotion that is left is just the person choosing to stay in the emotional loop.

Her ninety second resilience exercise consists of practicing mindfulness. Bring your attention to the present moment and feel the emotion. Don’t judge it and accept what you’re feeling. This helps the emotions move through us quickly.

Our emotions are like ocean waves. They rise, crest and recede all day long. The whole process for each wave takes about 90 seconds. Observe each one and then ride it out without trying to change it.

The most important thing is to observe and accept your emotions. You get an emotional workout when you do this over and over. If you continue to do it, over time, you will build emotional resilience.

4. process your feelings

  1. Let yourself cry – There is nothing wrong with crying, it’s actually good for you!
  2. Punch a pillow
  3. Rip a piece of paper into small pieces
  4. Write a letter to the person who upset you, then rip it up and throw it away.

5. Do something to boost your mood

  1. Play or snuggle with a pet
  2. Watch a funny YouTube video or Tik Tok.
  3. Read the story of someone that you admire for inspiration.
  4. Organize something
  5. Exercise
  6. Write a list of places that you would like to travel.

I hate to break it to you, but you are always going to have challenges and problems in your life that will cause you to feel painful emotion. This is part of our human experience. The trick is not to run away from these feelings, but to deal with each one in a healthy way. I hope that this blog has given you some helpful ways in which to do that. Take care and remember that you are amazing!

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It’s time for a technology detox!

Okay, I’ll be the first to admit it, I spend too much time on technology. I use my computer for work daily, and I spend way too much time on my phone; sending texts, posting social media posts or just scrolling. I also love watching television and movies. I am the queen of binge watching shows!

I have been contemplating a technology detox for awhile, but addiction is a sneaky thing. It will talk you out of making a change every time. Apparently, I am not the only one who loves technology. Recent estimates show that the average American spends more than 5 hours per day on digital devices and watches approximately 4.5 hours of television.

A technology detox is a set period of time in which you stop using technological devices. Smartphones, television, Computers, tablets etc… You can choose to give them all up for a set number of days, you can limit your time on them daily, or you can do a little of both.

why should you do a detox?

To Improve Your Mental and physical Health

Too much time on technology is bad for your health. It can affect your sleep, as well as cause anxiety and depression. It can also affect our work like balance. It’s difficult to separate home and work life when you are constantly connected to work through technology. In addition, social media makes it hard not to compare ourselves to others. We compare our lives to family, friends, total strangers and celebrities. Comparison is the thief of joy.

So you can have better relationships and communication Skills

Because of technology, people of all ages are losing these basic social skills:

  1. Eye Contact – It is hard to look at other people when you are looking down at your phone. Eye contact is the strongest form of non-verbal communication. 43% of the attention we focus on someone is concentrated on their eyes. It is one of the most important components in forming emotional connections. Eye contact is used to convey many emotions : respect, confidence, standing your ground, kindness, love etc…
  2. Phone Skills– Are becoming a thing of the past. The tendency to text rather than call people has left the younger generation inept and nervous while having a conversation via the telephone.
  3. Conversation– Technology is also taking it’s toll on the art of conversation. Many people don’t know how to ask questions about others. They also don’t know how to listen and they are unable to read other people’s social cues.
  4. Attention Span – Technology has made it hard to concentrate on one thing for any length of time. Social Media platforms and apps are made to hold our attention for a fraction of a second before swiping to something new.
  5. Face to Face Confrontation – Texting is a disinhibited form of communication. Many people, especially children and teens today are using texting or social media as a way of communication to avoid challenging conversations. The reason given most often for this : “I don’t have to do look at the other person’s face.” This type of communication is causing us to miss out on critical social and problem solving abilities. In addition it is making people less empathetic.

So you can be more creative

People’s cognitive abilities are being challenged because of technology overload. The capacity for analytical thinking is declining. Studies also show a decline in memory, focus, creativity, reflection and mental resilience.


“The more the culture equates knowledge with data and social life with social media, the less time is spent on the path of wisdom, a path that always requires a good quotient of self-awareness. Devices make it easy to find answers elsewhere so people forget to ask deep questions of themselves. This lack of uninterrupted introspection creates a very human problem: the anxiety of not knowing oneself.”

Meg Mott, Professor of politics at Marlboro College

How to do a detox

The parameters of a technology detox are really up to you. I have decided that I am going to start by not using any technology for one day a week: no phone, television or computer. I will check my phone a few times a day for calls and texts in case of emergency. Other than that I will not engage with any electronics at all. I will do this for two months and then I will increase it to two days a week.

There are so many things I want to do, but don’t do, because I get sucked into using or watching mind numbing electronic devices. I want to start painting (I have actually had all the supplies for over a year). I also want to start riding my bike and reading more books. I think if scrolling on my phone and Netflix are not an option that I will be more inclined to do these things.

I am also going to put time constraints on my technology use daily. I’m only going to go on my phone for a half hour in the morning, and a half hour in the afternoon. I am going to try it for awhile and see how it goes.

It is completely up to you how you want to plan your technology detox. I think any amount of time that you spend away from it to do other things is going to be beneficial to you. I hope that this blog gave you some useful information and I wish you luck with your own technology detox!

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Micro-Meditations A perfect way to meditate throughout the day

If you watch or read anything related to physical and mental health, you know that meditation is very good for you. It lowers blood pressure, clears your mind, relieves stress, and helps with depression and anxiety – just to name a few of its benefits. So why don’t we do it on a consistent basis? Well, if you’re anything like me, your days are already pretty full. Having to add another thing to our daily to-do list, is difficult.

That is why micro-meditations are perfect. They can be done throughout your day while you’re doing other things. These mini moments of deliberate pauses are just as beneficial to you as doing a full blown meditation!

while you snooze your alarm clock

Before you pull yourself out of bed, take a minute or two – to be in the moment. Tune in to the bird singing outside your window. Smell the clean sheets under your nose and feel the soft pillow under your head.

During Your Workout

Notice what you see, hear, feel and smell. Doing a micro-meditation while working out is easy because when you’re working hard and out of breath, it is hard to think about anything else. The most important thing is to be in the moment and not in your head.

while brushing your teeth

To keep your teeth and mouth healthy, you should brush your teeth for two minutes. The perfect amount of time for a micro-meditation! Feel the bristles move across your teeth and gums, taste the minty taste of the toothpaste and breathe and be in those two minutes.

during your cup of coffee

I don’t know about you, but coffee is my main motivator for getting out of the bed in the morning. So making this lovely morning ritual even more amazing by adding a micro-meditations is a win for me. Feel the warm cup in your hand, smell the lovely coffee aroma and really savor your cup of jo!

In the shower

A micro-shower meditation is very beneficial. Stand under the water in the shower and picture the water taking away all your stress, worries and any negativity that you’ve been carrying around. Then picture it all being washed down the drain!

Listen to a guided meditation

The App Insight Timer has “the largest free library of meditations on earth.” You can find many 1-2 minute guided micro-meditations that you can do any time! There are also longer meditations to choose from if you are so inclined.

The key to a happier life has a lot to do with slowing down and quieting our minds. Meditation is a proven way in which to achieve this. You can receive all the benefits of a longer meditation by doing micro-meditations throughout your day. I hope this blog gives you another tool in your self discovery tool box!

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Show Me

To kill a pure soul, is that the goal?

Another day, so much pain, is that how I pay?

Pray and pray, day after day,

but still the gut wrenching hurt.

No end in sight, no future shiny and bright.

Just darkness up ahead, not sure what to do,

Will there ever be something new?

I really want to keep my faith in you.

Please show me the way, to keep going for another day.

Show Me Read More »

10 Things about extroverts that really annoy introverts

It’s a fact that the world, especially the United States, is a lover of the extroverted person. This is true in the corporate, school and social worlds. Our school system is designed for the extroverted child and the majority of teachers believe that the most successful students are extroverts. Despite the fact that all these great thinkers were introverts: Darwin, Einstein, Orwell, Spielberg, Jobs!

I am a proud introvert and sometimes extroverts really get on my nerves. I thought it would be fun to share some of the things I find most annoying about extroverts. If you’re an introvert, I’m sure that you’ll relate. If you’re an extrovert, I hope that you don’t take offense, and that maybe it will help you to get a long better with your introvert friends.

#1. Constant Chattering

Extroverts love to fill the silence with endless talking. For some reason it isn’t okay to have breaks in a conversation. This is very draining to an introvert because we require quiet to recharge and incessant talking wears us out.

#2. Showing up at our home unannounced

Do not ever do this to an introvert! We hate having to interact with anyone socially without some prep time. Showing up unannounced at our place is one of the worst things you can do.

#3. Loud Talking

I’m not sure this is only annoying to introverts. I’m pretty sure most people in general are not fans of people who talk really loud.

#4. Constant Intense eye contact

Extroverts love eye contact. Some people take it way too far and never break it. This is very uncomfortable for an introvert and it definitely freaks us out.

#5. Monopolizing the conversation

Introverts are great listeners, but that doesn’t mean that we never want to talk. Just because you finally found someone that will listen to you, doesn’t mean you should monopolize the whole conversation. Remember a conversation is two people talking back and forth. A soliloquy is a conversation with yourself. Introverts prefer conversations!

#6. drama

Extroverts love to talk, so all that talking amongst themselves is sure to stir up some drama. Introverts intensely dislike drama. It is usually loud, messy and unpredictable, and we’re not fans of any of those things.

#7. Small Talk

There is nothing introverts hate more than small talk. What’s the point of it? I really don’t know. It always feels forced and uncomfortable. We prefer to have meaningful conversations about things that actually matter.

#8. No Space Awareness

This is not true of all extroverts, but many have the habit of invading our personal space. There is nothing worse for an introvert than someone getting too close. We like to have a good amount of personal space at all times. Energy is something that introverts are very aware of, and when someone is too close it affects us.

#9. Not letting us have time alone to recharge

Extroverts gain energy from being around people and introverts gain energy from being alone. This is why extroverts don’t understand why introverts need space to recharge. So don’t feel bad or give them a hard time when your introvert friend disappears for awhile!

#10. Believing we should suck it up and be more like an extrovert

This is the number one biggest pet peeve that I have with extroverts. They always think we should just get over being who we are naturally and become more social and outgoing like them. To that I say, why don’t you stop being so talkative and social and be more like me? This line of thinking makes no sense. We are who we are and nobody should be told they shouldn’t be that way.

So there they are… The top ten things I find annoying about extroverts. I hope that these hit home with you introverts out there and don’t worry extroverts, I really do like you – at least most of the time!

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