Audra McDonie

What to do when life sucks

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“Sometimes life just sucks the jelly right out of your donut.” -Unknown

Life has never been easy, but lately it seems that the difficulty factor has notched up a good bit. The coronavirus pandemic, the hostile political climate, and the in your face media coverage, makes us feel like absolutely nothing good is going on in the world, and it is a lot to process. This along with the hundreds of other things we have to do and deal with on a daily basis, is a lot. I don’t mean to sound negative, but there’s no two ways about it, sometimes life really does suck. Now that we’ve cleared that up, what do we do when we’re stuck in a rough patch?

Unfortunately, life is going to continue to suck sometimes, it’s the nature of the beast. Even if we magically had everything we ever wanted in this life, there would still be times that sucked. We can’t control that there are always going to be difficulties and challenges at times. The only thing that we can control is ourselves and our reactions to them.

Change our perspective. Looking at things from a more positive point of view isn’t easy because our instinct as humans is to assess all situations through a negative filter. By focusing on the negative, we keep ourselves safe by avoiding things that can hurt us or make us feel bad. This negative instinct is not our friend. It makes us look at things in a pessimistic way for no reason. It isn’t helping us anymore in the world that we live in today. Advertisers and the media know about this predisposition to look for danger and they exploit it to sell us products and to control us. We have no control over what we see on the news, other people’s actions or even how they treat us, but we have full control of ourselves, our attitudes and our perspectives. We need to critically think and digest information and not just believe it because it is said with conviction. If we do this, we may find that things are not as bad as we thought.

Focus on the good. If you are reading this, you are probably lucky enough to have a roof over your head and food to eat. 821 million people in the world do not have enough to eat, so you’re one of the lucky ones. Change your perspective, change your life, right?

We live in world where everyone wants more… Society has set unrealistic standards that make us feel like we don’t have enough and that we are not enough. This could not be further from the truth. We already have everything we need and the way each and everyone of us is right now at this moment is more than enough!

Express gratitude. Miya Yamanouchi said that “gratitude is the antidote for misery.” I think this may well be true. Every day find something that you’re grateful for and write about it. You can post it on social media or express it through art, the important thing is to share it with the world in some way. We need more positivity out there to balance out the negativity! Write down one good thing that happened each day. Put them in jar and at the end of the year read them so you can relive all the amazing things that happened to you that year. Also, try doing one random act of kindness per day. It will make you feel great and life will feel a little less sucky!

So yes, life can suck sometimes. If we expect that it’s not always going to be smooth sailing, when the difficulties arrive, we can find ways to cope. I hope that one or two of things I wrote about today will help to make your life a little less sucky! Take care and hang in there!

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Mindfulness Meditation – Begin today to change your life

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“Mindfulness is an intentional connection with the present moment that changes how we relate to ourselves, others and the world. A dedicated mindfulness practice cultivates compassion, inclining us to treat ourselves and one another with greater kindness.”

Insightla.org

I have been struggling with adding mindfulness meditation to my daily routine. I decided to do a little fact finding about its benefits to see if this may inspire me. I knew that doing it was good for you, but I had no idea that it is a viable solution to a lot of physical and mental illnesses. I think you will be as surprised as me to discover, that mindfulness meditation may be the panacea for a lot of the things that ail us in our modern world.

What is Mindfulness Meditation?

It is based on conscious living and being aware of your mind and your body. The intent is to put a stop to unconscious or mechanical activity, and instead be present and aware of what is going on in your inner world, while also being aware of the world around you.

It also requires having a non-judgmental attitude toward your thoughts and emotions. Distancing yourself from your thoughts and letting them drift by without any reaction to them. While observing internal sensations without trying to change whatever is present, even if the thoughts and feelings are uncomfortable.

Our Brains Love Mindfulness

-It improves brain function by increasing the activity in the front left side of the brain. This is the part of the brain that helps us to be more resilient concerning negative or stressful events.

-It also increases activity in the cerebral cortex (front of the brain). This area of the brain regulates emotion so this leads to better attention and self control.

What it has a positive impact on:

Depression, Anxiety, PTSD and Chronic Pain

Mindfulness meditation techniques have been shown to counter depression by decreasing negative ruminative thoughts (which are repetitive self reflections on ones assumed faults or shortcomings). According to the Harvard Gazette, studies have shown that for depression, anxiety, PTSD, and chronic pain, mindfulness meditation is as successful as existing treatments like antidepressants, pain medication and cognitive therapy. All of these have mental and physical pain in common and this type of meditation increases serotonin (hormone that stabilizes mood, sense of well-being and happiness). While also increasing a sense of acceptance for unpleasant sensations and improving emotional resiliency.

Immune System

It boosts antibody production.

Binge Eating

Increases self awareness and the ability to recognize hunger. Increases acceptance for unpleasant sensations and takes away the need to over eat to fill an emotional void.

Cellular Aging

Reduces cell death and age related diseases.

Stress

It lowers the stress response by changing stress pathways in the brain.

How do I begin?

A Simple Mindfulness Meditation Practice

(Start with a 5 minute practice and slowly build to 20 minutes. Or do 2-3 five minute practices throughout the day)

  1. Sit Comfortably
  2. Notice your legs – If on a cushion cross your legs in front of you. If on a chair rest your feet on the floor.
  3. Sit up straight, but don’t stiffen your back. Let your spine curve naturally.
  4. Notice your arms. Keep your upper arms parallel to your body and rest your palms on your legs where they feel comfortable.
  5. Soften your gaze. Drop your chin and let your gaze go downward or close your eyes.
  6. Bring your attention to your breathing. Moving through your nose or mouth, the up and down movement of your stomach or chest.
  7. Notice when your mind wanders from your breath. It will wander… it’s okay, you can’t not think, don’t try. When you notice it wandering, bring your attention back to your breath.
  8. Be kind to yourself and your mind. Don’t wrestle with your thoughts, just observe them without reacting. Sit and pay attention, that’s it. Move your mind back to your breath over and over, without judgement or expectation.
  9. When you’re ready, lift your eyes. If they are closed, open them. Take a moment and notice how your body feels – notice your thoughts and emotions.

That’s all there is to it! It’s so incredibly simple, but adding mindfulness meditation to your life is probably one of the best things that you can do for yourself. I am going to practice it every day and I hope that you are inspired to try it too! Thanks so much for being on this journey of self discovery with me and have an amazing day!

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My friend

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We are different in almost every way, but still our connection is strong and true.

There are many days, I wish to be you.

The life you lead is wild and free, while mine is confined by those who came before me.

All you do has a purpose, born within, and made apparent by your peace.

Your stoic strength and will to go on, make me admire you more than most I see.

My soul recognizes yours and I am glad you are here with me.

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Walking makes us healthier in Body and spirit

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“All truly great thoughts are conceived by walking.”

Friedrich Nietzsche

We all know that walking is good for our bodies, but did you know that walking can also be a mindful meditation? I delved a little deeper into the actual health benefits of walking and I also researched how to do a walking meditation. Here is what I found:

How Walking Can Change Your Life

Health Benefits:

  • Extend your life
  • Improve mood
  • Boost energy
  • Lower blood sugar
  • Strengthen heart
  • Burn calories
  • Boost immunity

According to NYTimes.com, “brisk walking is good for the aging brain. Older people with mild cognitive impairment showed improvements in brain flow and memory after a year long walking aerobic program.”

With age, people have a decline in the flow of blood to their brains. Walking increases blood flow even when you are not moving. Regular brisk walking increases the healthy flow of blood to our brains.

It is better to walk at a fast pace. It puts you into the moderate intensity zone, which has a lot more health benefits than walking slower. You should walk briskly for 30 minutes per day five or more days per week. A pedometer or a Fitbit type watch that tracks your steps has been shown to motivate people to walk more steps. 10,000 steps 4-5 days per week is a good goal!

Walking as a Mindful Meditation:

In addition to the physical benefits of walking, it also has mental and spiritual benefits as well:

  • Helps you find peace
  • Gain a different perspective
  • Makes you worry less

There are actually apps that have guided meditations for walking. They are great for reducing stress and increasing positivity. My Life, Headspace, Calm and Ten Percent Happier are just a few of the apps that offer guided walking meditations.

Walking meditations have their origins in Buddhism. They allow for a different awareness of your surroundings, body and thoughts. Where walking for our physical bodies requires a brisk walk, mindful walking is a slower more methodical walk.

More Benefits:

  • Inspires creativity
  • Enhances balance
  • Improves sleep quality
  • Improves well being
  • Alleviates depression
  • Improves blood sugar levels
  • Reduces anxiety

What does mindfulness mean exactly? To be aware of what is going on inside us and around us. Awareness of our body, emotions and thoughts in the present moment.

When doing a walking meditation you move without a goal and are aware of each step and breath. It can be practiced anywhere, in nature or on a crowded city street.

According to Gaiam.com, “clarity comes from mindfulness. We can always return to our true home, the present moment. When we practice mindfulness, we become a peaceful refuge for ourselves and others.”

“Walking on this planet is a joy. Mindful walking allows us to be aware of the pleasure of walking. We can keep our steps slow, relaxed and calm. There is no rush, no place to get to, no hurry. Mindful walking can release our sorrows and our worries and bring peace into our mind and body.”

Gaiam.com

Mindfulness takes us away from our everyday problems. It helps us to not worry about the present, regret the past, or worry about the future. It puts us right smack dab in the present moment, which is where we can see all the beautiful things right in front of us. The present moment is where we will find peace.

I have really been working on mindfulness and staying in the present moment. I realized recently, that I was always rushing through what I was doing to get it done, so I could get on to the next thing. I often felt scattered and not at peace. Since this realization, I have been trying to concentrate on what I am doing in the present moment and not think about what is going to come next. I have found that doing this gives me more peace and I am happier overall. I am going to add walking meditation to my mindfulness practice. I hope that this blog has given you some helpful information for your mental and physical health journey!

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5 Simple Steps to take to improve your health

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There is an inordinate amount of information on the subject of health. It is no wonder that we get confused and overwhelmed when trying to make healthier life choices. After a lot of research, I have narrowed it down to five things you can do to really make a difference in your overall health!

What defines a healthy person?

  • doesn’t smoke (anything)
  • works to maintain a healthy weight
  • eats healthy whole foods
  • drinks alcohol in moderation (or not at all)
  • knows how to manage stress in a healthy way
  • gets quality sleep
  • emotionally fit

Making a change in your life is difficult. It is more manageable if you try to make a small change each day. Below are five things that will improve your overall health. Take it slow and work towards a healthier you, one day at a time.

1. Diet

Your diet is undeniably the biggest determinant of how healthy you will be.

“A healthy approach to eating is centered on savoring flavor, eating to satisfaction and increasing energy rather than focusing on weight.”

Gaiam.com

Ways to improve your diet:

  • Eat a diet consisting of whole grains, lean protein, vegetable and legumes.

Whole grain examples: Brown rice, oatmeal, popcorn, whole wheat pasta, bread or crackers

Lean protein examples: white fish (cod, haddock, tilapia flounder), plain greek yogurt, beans, peas and lentils, skinless chicken, low fat cottage cheese, lean beef, powdered peanut butter (it has less calories than regular peanut butter and is great for dipping)

The best bang for your buck legumes and veggies: chickpeas, lentils, peas, kidney beans and soybeans. Spinach, carrots, broccoli, brussels sprouts, kale

  • Be sure to get enough calcium and vitamin D in the food you eat.

Examples of food with calcium: cheese, yogurt, milk, sardines, dark leafy greens, fortified cereal (raisin bran and corn flakes have a lot), fortified orange juice

Examples of food with vitamin D: salmon, herring and sardines, cod liver oil, canned tuna, egg yolks, mushrooms, cow’s milk

  • Cut out unhealthy saturated fats and replace with healthier fats.

Unhealthy fats: commercially baked pastries and sweets, packaged snack foods, stick margarine, fried foods

Healthy fats: avocados, cheese, dark chocolate, whole eggs, fatty fish, nuts, chia seeds, extra virgin oil

  • Other easy things you can do to improve your diet:

-Eat one extra fruit or vegetable a day

– Stop drinking calories and cut out soda

-Choose fresh over processed foods

-Drink water (a half an ounce to an ounce for each pound you weigh, ex. if you weigh 150 lbs. you should drink 75 to 150 ounces of water per day)

-Limit alcohol consumption

2. Exercise

“If you want to live well and live longer, you must exercise.”

gaiam.com

One of the easiest things you can do to improve your health is to sit less and move more. You can do this through a planned workout or you can do it by changing little things you do throughout your day. Exercise helps alleviate depression, reduces stress and makes your body healthier.

Ways to move more:

  • planned workout: running, walking, weight training, sports, etc..
  • Take the stairs instead of the escalator or elevator.
  • Park in a space that is faraway from the entrance.
  • Walk the perimeter of a big box store before you shop.
  • Walk and talk while on the phone.
  • Take your lunch outside, preferably somewhere you have to walk to.
  • Buy a stand up desk
  • Workout while watching tv
  • While sitting at your desk, set a reminder so you remember to get up, walk around and stretch.

3. Learn to Manage Stress

“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.”

William James

Stress Relievers:

4. Get Enough Sleep

“The best bridge between despair and hope is a good night’s sleep”

E. Joseph Cossman

Getting a good night’s sleep is another important aspect of overall health.

Benefits of a good night’s sleep:

  1. lowers blood pressure
  2. improves memory
  3. reduces stress
  4. Healthy immune system
  5. Heart health
  6. Reduces chance of getting diabetes
  7. Helps with maintaining a healthy weight

I recently wrote a blog called “How To Get A Good Night’s Rest” https://www.introvertview.com/how-to-get-a-good-nights-rest/ please check it out to see some great tips on how to get a good nights sleep.

5. Improve Your Emotional Fitness

“Emotional fitness is the state wherein the mind is capable of staying away from negative thoughts and can focus on creative and constructive tasks. Being emotionally fit is the key to success in all aspects of life.”

Dr. Brooke R. Envick and Rick Martinez

Are your emotions all over the place? Do you struggle with constant negative self talk that makes you feel anxious, depressed and guilty all the time. Feeling like this is definitely not good for your emotional or physical health and there are many ways in which to improve your emotional fitness, so you can become a resilient, emotionally mature and mentally strong human being.

How to Build Emotional Fitness:

  • Stop the rumination spirals. (endlessly criticizing yourself for past mistakes and what you think are your shortcomings as a person) Remember how we think, is how we feel. A positive thought is empowering and a negative thought is disempowering. So how do we stop the negativity and bring the positivity into our lives?

Mindful Meditation: Take 5 minutes each day to strengthen your attention muscle. Focus your attention on your breathing. Thoughts, feelings, sounds will float across your brain, that is normal, all you have to do is bring your attention back to your breathing. It is difficult at first, just like working out your muscles by exercising is hard when you first begin. The more you do it though the more you will have control over where you concentrate your attention.

  • Talk to yourself. The more a negative thought is allowed to ruminate unnoticed the more negative emotion it will generate. That is where talking to yourself comes in, if you are thinking about something negative and you catch yourself, say out loud – “No, I’m not going to think like that.” What this does is put distance between your thoughts and yourself. It makes you more self aware and more in control of what goes on in your own head.
  • Seek Counseling. This is an amazing way to help build your emotional fitness. It not only gives you a place to share your feelings, but also gives you access to positive input and priceless advice on how to live a better life.
  • Try the practice of expressive writing. What this involves is writing continuously for 20 minutes about an issue, exploring your deepest thoughts and feelings about it. While writing do not worry if the writing is good, it is only important that you are getting the thoughts down on paper. What this does is allow us to confront ideas, which lead to new perspectives. A 1988 study showed that people who did expressive writing for four days were healthier six weeks later and happier up to three months later.

I hope that you were able to take away some information that will help you to improve your overall health. Remember, change just one small thing a day and before you know it you’ll be a healthier you!

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